I am Pregnant!

OH MY FREAKIN GOSH!!!

I AM PREGNANT!!!

I can't hardly believe this. I'm 5 days late from my period now, and I already check with urine pregnancy test. I check on the 3rd and the 4th day after my period is due, and I got both double line!!! It is still faint, but hell yeah I got double line..!! 

I tell myself to be secretive about this, but fuck that, I am happy and whoever said that I can keep my mouth shut is wrong. I just keep telling everybody and they don't even have to ask me, I just start the conversation under the topic of Family, or Children, or Back pain, or Cramps, or Fatigue, or Faint, etc and suddenly I am busy talking about my pregnancy.

I am sure I must sound like an annoying little bitch. I think after this 1 month pass, I would be myself again. Thanks the Lord heaven and earth for this! For my pregnancy! For my baby! And we already have names for our baby :) :) If he's a boy, then his name will be CE. And if she's a girl, her name will be CS. <3 Love you baby

Anyway, I love my pregnancy. Except for the serious back pain and the endless streaming pee from my VJJ. I keep on going to the toilet, and drying my VJJ with tissue paper after peeing. I think my VJJ's skin have been pound with tissue like a pounded beef. Haha. Mind my expression.

But then, I love my husband. He is so happy when I tell him that I'm pregnant. He can't stop from covering his mouth. Because he was so shocked! Love you to pieces my darling :)

Will update soon about my pregnancy progress. Thanks God, thanks husband, thanks for this blessing :)

BABIES

I am trying to get pregnant.

Yes. I am trying. Eh, WE are trying. 'We' means my husband and I. Duh.

Anyway, I don't know that it would be so hard to get pregnant. Before this, all I know was if you make love (sex) with someone, then you gonna be popping babies 9 months later. I mean, it sure looks easy in the movies..! *sigh*

I am literally exhausted researching ways to conceive. It's only been 5 months after I got married, but people around have been continuously asking if my tummy is bulging because of there's someone inside (Amen). To make things worse, my tummy is reallyyy am bulging. It's like my tummy is angry at me for not exercising, and because of that, for every 100 calories I ate, I will gain 100 gm of fats.

I don't even know that there's some position in making love that can increase the chances of getting pregnant. Wow. Or there's some certain days in a month that have higher chances to get conceive (cause there's some days I am really fertile). Choices of food also affect woman's fertility. Wow! I'm lacking knowledge of everything.

I hope I get pregnant soon. It's heartbreaking to see my husband sad. I know he wants baby more than me. Sometimes when I pray, I said "God, I know that I said that I hope You bless us with children in Your time, but can You make it faster?". Haha. I know it's wrong to ask for something like that, but yeah, I kinda need one right now.

There's this symptom which if a woman really wants to get pregnant, her body will react and give indication that she is pregnant. She will get nausea, morning sickness, backache and sometimes feel movement in her belly.

I am so afraid if I get that. I think I did get that last month *sad face*. I mean nausea and vomiting. Shit. I'm getting crazy. CRAZY. So for this month, I keep on telling myself that I should be sane during this period. I should only check myself after 1 week after my period is due (last month my period late 2 days which is heartbreaking. I even talk to my tummy!)

I really hope that this month I'm going to get pregnant. I hope the little sperm didn't get lost in my VJJ since it's a maze down there; or run out of focus (I mean forgot why they are there). I sometimes forgot why I'm doing certain activity in the middle of doing it. I hope they don't share that trait. Haha.

Miau,

Tuesday Evening in Office

I hear about weird stories in my office floor. They said they saw a woman, a tall man, a white cloth, long hair, a child running around, a voice calling out names. But then, it remains as a story. Yesterday, 21 July 2015, I encounter incidents which I can't explained.

It's 6 o'clock in the evening, and I'm still in the office. You may thought that i'm taking overtime, but it's not. I'm trying to finish my Korean movie marathon of "Heartstrings", I hate that Gyu Won girl, her character is so stupid. Who the heck wants to be someone slave for 1 month? But then, I like Yong Hwa so I keep on watching.

After episode 6, I decided to go back and continue my movie marathon at home (since we have wifi there, thanks Mom for subscribing streamyx). Before I pack my stuff, I went to the bathroom to do some ladies business. But then after a few minutes inside the toilet, the light went off.  "Mati karen.." I said that in my heart. SESB had an amazing history in making 'romantic nights' everyday, that's the reason why we got tons of candles in my house.

A few minutes after that, I went out from the toilet. Then, I found something weird. The lights outside were on! I looked at the toilet switch, and someone switched it off. As I walked to my office room, I ponder about it.

It can't be 'someone', cause I'm the last person here. Everyone went home already.
It can't be 'someone', cause I didn't hear any sound of footsteps.
It can't be 'someone', cause I didn't hear any door being open or closed.
It can't be 'someone', cause I didn't even hear any switching on and off of the lights.
Oh well, it was probably 'something' not 'someone'.

So, I pack my stuff quietly and switch off all the lights and air-con. After making sure every electric appliances are switched off, I went home.

In conclusion, ghost are so lazy. What is the use to switch off only one light, alang-alang switch off all the lights and air-con so I don't need to do it.

MY BOSS'S SECRETARY IS A PAIN IN THE ASS

Do you have that one colleague who can't do a single thing right? Or his/her presence don't mean a thing in the office?? Or they only know to back-stab others instead of doing their job to get to the top???

F*ck all the secretary in the rest of the world cause I found a winner. Winner for the 'Best In Doing Nothing- Secretary'. Range? The WORLD. Oh wait, make it UNIVERSE. The winner is... *drums* My Boss's Secretary!!! Mrs. Know-It-All.

Let me introduce you to her. She play Facebook all day. When I say all day, I mean it. The WHOLE FREAKIN DAY. When she was given task to do, for example, update my boss about the attendance of who will come for the launching ceremony from 2 (two) company. You know what she will do? She will call frantically to the company for 30 minutes (after she receive the task), then play Facebook (if the company don't pick the phone). The she call again at 1.00pm (rest time), then maybe at 3pm. Then complain about how many works she have done. What the fuck lady.  Then my boss will pity her, and tell us how she (Mrs. Know-It-All) have done a lot of great thing. Bitch.

There's one thing I really admire her. It's the quota of her stomach. She can eat a LOTTTTTTTTTTT like 2 plates of rice, 3 times taking the chicken masak merah, vegetables (she's not a fan of vegetables), 2 times drinking the coffee (big cup) + (a lot of sugar), snacks, 2 times taking the fish, eating cake 2 times, another snacks, more to come! She can eat that in 30 minutes! She eat a lot! Wow! And even tapau if the food not finish yet.  Come on lady, you are fat, why do you want to get fatter?

Some more, she even call me fat when I'm like 20kg lighter than her! So if I'm fat, then you are a freakin whale-walrus hybrid. Damn. I hate myself when I'm angry. She don't pick up the phone when office's phone are ringing. She give people task and said that it is from my boss. She even blame whatever wrong she is doing to other people! And the sad thing is, my boss believe her. Damn. 

Btw, if you think that my boss like her cause she's pretty, you get it wrong. My boss is a woman with children. And that secretary of hers is a 50-year old lady. Maybe that's why my boss believe her so much cause she's old. But age doesn't come with knowledge! Buel Buek Buek I hate her! 

I will have my revenge.

Angrily,

Grace The Destroyer :-[ 

My Awesome Fiancee

He smells amazingly refreshing!

His name is Andy and currently 27 years old (2014). He is cute and charming and lovable, and yes I do sounds annoying. But apart of me being annoying, I have to proudly admit that he is the most amazing man I ever encountered. 

He loves sports and gym. He sings the most romantic rock love songs to me, which I don't get it at the first place. I know he used to feel embarrassed when he saw me dance like a crazy lady whenever I heard my jam on the radio, or in the shopping mall, or in the elevator. But I know the embarrassment feeling fades away by time cause I saw him dance like a little kitty cat to 'Joy to the world' song in shopping mall last Christmas. 

He likes wearing pink, or bright colours cause he said he can pull it off. He likes Luffy from One Piece anime character, and he actually think that he is Luffy in real life. I saw his straw hat, and he always pair it with his red button shirt (to look like Luffy). He forgot that Luffy don't wear spectacles.

He is 20% annoying at times, and when his manja time come, his annoyingness blasted to 80%. He will act like my 3 year old nephew, Gabby, and demand for everything to go in his way. He even pouted his lips so that I can see clearly that he is being a manja big baby brat. 

Aside from the little negative things that he have, he have the purest soul I ever met. He loves God, he love his family, he loves animals, and though he don't admit it, I know he can't stand looking at sad crying faces. He is a gentleman (which I looooovvvvvee to the max) and mostly I love him cause he do what he said. He said he loves me, and he said he wants to get married with me, and the next thing I knew, he ask my mother for my hand in marriage.

I'm writing this in the morning cause I can't sleep.

I've been this lady who keep on falling in love with the wrong guy over and over again. Even my puppy love I keep on giving my childish heart to the wrong boy. They (male species) keep on hurting my feelings, but then I believe I would have someone that truly cherish me someday. So I keep on trying.

After gazillions of reading books about good and bad relationship (okay, maybe I only read 2 or 3 books), I finally got it! Relationship are all about mind games! I mean if you want to have a long-lasting relationships. I applied it, and wallllaaaa.. Guys actually fall for me!

But then after a while, I guess I'm fed up with this mind game. The biggest liar is the one who lie to his heart. I keep on falling for the wrong guy, maybe the wrong time.

INTI Beauty Peagent 2010

Hey peeps.. Im going to talk about beauty pageants again this time (duhh..). Yes, I LOVE PAGEANTS. I always got money when I join one. When you know you got something to offer, why waste it right?

I once join Beauty Peagent event host by INTI College on 30th Oct 2010. It is kinda shocking and also thrilling coz this is the first time i join beauty peagent. It is so different from Unduk Ngadau! But I like it. I like it more. There is more to do, more stress (haha~). But as we always know, more things to do means there is a lot of consequences. I win that peagent, but i also lost a friend.

1st round is Introduction which each contestant have to introduce the traditional that they are wearing then walk around the stage and show what you've got!I show them my butt but I don't think the judges loving it coz I don't win that round.

2nd round is Talent Time. I bring out my church's guitar (tqs Adam for lending that) and sang 'Bitter Heart' (tqs Addrey for teaching me how to play) by Zee Avi. I tell you, I sang soooooo ugly and I can see Mion (my lil sista) do her between-encouragement-face-and-a -mirk. I feel so down but I sang my heart out anyway.

3rd round is Evening Gown. My dress is probably the cheapest there since it's only RM99. The other contestant's dress look like there are worth more than RM99. I have a little belly which Mion call Kevin (Asia's biggest loser-Kevin) and it pops out when I wear that dress. Mion say I need to walk like Kimora. But then my make-up artist and also my friend, Lucy, said that I need not to move my hand too much. I'm kinda confuse but then I walk like..I don't know..

While waiting for results to come, I eat two biscuits. I ate like I never eat before because I am so damn hungry! I offer to one of the contestant (which is a model) but she refuse to eat it. I think she saw me eating like a pig.

And then, the organizer call me to the stage. At first, I'm kinda blur what's going on, but then they give selendang and it states there, "MISS TALENT". Haha~ I laugh because I know how bad my singing is.

That's not the ending but, I dont wanna tell you the result. :)

Networking For Work Purpose

Hello there, we meet again.

I'm working. And I need to do this activity ' Networking'.

I hate it, I have to smile and find clever things to say,while searching for jargon words to convey my ideas. I have to shake hands to other people, have to research their company to know about them, follow the latest news about the world.. When I just want to text my boyfriend and sit in the corner eating ice cream and maybe drink some mango juice.

So if you hate networking, same here. You're not alone.

Tips To Woo Your Crush~

Hello~

I'm not a master in this, but I did try some of the tips, and it work. 98%, it will work.

Forget about those tips you have to look pretty whenever you see him,or know how to cook,bla bla bla. I did those, and what did I get? Crappy dude who just want to play with me. Instead, be a BITCH. Not a Hooker-Bitch, but I-have-my-rights-Bitch.

1. Family

If you can, don't meet his family until you got engaged, or you've been together for 2 years or more. Less Christmas Gathering is better. It's not that you don't like them, but take your time. You will meet them for the rest of your life later. And don't bring him to meet your family either. WAIT.

2. His Hobby

Be on your ground. Don't simply like basketball (when you never like before) just because of him. But don't be so honest too telling him 'Basketball is a stupid game' or etc. Instead, make him like your hobby.

3. Lovey-Dovey

Yes. Be lovey-dovey whenever needed. Guys love to be pampered. But don't be a slave to him. Man nowadays don't want stupid girls to be their long-time-darling. And don't 'merajuk sampai gila' too. Merajuk for a while is cute, but many time and all the time? Hey look, he's running saying goodbye.

4. Time

If he's late for a date maybe for 1 hour,just leave and say you got work to do. Play hard to get. Don't be stupid waiting for him. It means your time is cheap. It means you're own by him when you innocently waiting for him. But if he's late for several minutes, don't be an angry monster because sometimes he really have things to do. If he call you after 10pm, don't accept. Just text him the next morning, " I sleep at 10pm, call me before I sleep" (it works). You will gain some respect sista..! If he reply your text late, reply him late too. Monkey see, monkey do. Just do the same.

5.Ego

Guys have ego. So don't simply pay something if he want to pay. Respect the mindset of a guy that he can support a woman and protect a woman.

6. Flattery

If he have nice cars, don't simply say 'I love your car'. He thinks you like him because of his car. Instead, after he send you home, just say " Thanks for sending me, I enjoy myself tonight". Never-ever look at his car while saying that. He will feel appreciated.

7. Showing some weakness

Guys LOVE to be the Hero of a story. So sometimes, you have to show them you're weak even when you're not. For instance, you can't open the cover of a bottle(shows that you're weak), and then he open it for you. After that you say "Thank's! Thank goodness you're here :)" He will feel like he's the Hero. O wow!

8. Pretty

No matter how pretty you are, or how much make-up you wear, it doesn't make him anymore loving you. I make myself hell pretty for someone last time, and he end up feeling bored. He cheat on me and hook up with someone prettier than me. He leaves her for another pretty girl. Conclusion? Being pretty is not the key. Play hard to get.  You will feel proud parading your car that you buy on your own money than the car that your mom bought for you. Right? So be expensive.

That's all for now. Thank you for reading! :)

DREAM GUY~

A very good (wuteva your day might be), today i will writing about hot-handsome guys :)

I met this one guy recently, and mostly early month of this year.. He looks so much like my dream guy. Tall, lean, wearing specs ( yippie~~), thin but not so thin (like anime) and he's the head of 'a' group :p

I like looking at him,even in talks/seminar I will secretly look at him. It's not like I'm trying to cheat my bf, but I just cant believe my dream guy become a reality! But anyway, Sanchez, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I love you hubby. He have the looks but you have my heart.

I shake his hand once, and I smile talking to him. I mean, gosh,you are so REAL my dream guy, and right now, you have a name!

I dont want to say his name out loud coz..ehemm..people know him.haha~ Anyway, I hope I will be meeting him less coz I dont wanna look like a fool (smiling alone) whenever I see him. Like my mother say to every handsome/beautiful people she sees ' You are pleasing to the eyes', and thats what I felt.

Bye!

FAITH

Faith is something weird. I am a Christian, and i believe in God. As I am getting matured a.k.a OLD, I notice that different people have different thoughts about faith. Many religion fights and argue especially Muslim and Christian (I don't know why since both religion start with Abraham). But what I want to point out here is, and it might be very disturbing, Christian people pull down their own people. I notice that in my community. People want to pull me down when I have different opinion, they started to have 'thoughts' and 'what she should have done' or 'i think someone else is better'.

My boyfriend is Anglican and I'm Catholic, I don't mind the differences since we follow the same God. Jesus said, "Follow Me. I am the ONLY way to the Father". He didn't say "Follow Catholic. It's the ONLY way to the Father". So, I am following Jesus.

I post in my FB recently about faith, then suddenly this guy commenting on my post, loooooooonnnggg comment about faith, about the do's and don'ts, telling me that Jesus loooovvveees me and being so sarcastic. I'm this close to comment back that I know what I meant, and he just freakin cannot accept anyone's opinion. Don't use Jesus name to say that I'm wrong when you only want to say your own piece of mind. Nasihat is about building up, not pulling down. If you are thinking what did I post, its a sharing about a homily from Father 'tut...' that says "everyone can be hypocrite, they pretend to close their eyes and pray when they did horrible things outside the church".

Clearly they don't get my messsage, they just hentam me and say I'm wrong.I am QUOTING what father said. Anyway, I block that person. He did that again to another post of mine about faith too, I don't see anything wrong with my post, but I don't know, he just want to say crap and maybe he want me to be like him.

KARMA

Har-har-har!
What people say about karma when everything goes around comes around?? It's true! Hey my ex,how do you feel now?

Lalalalalalalalala~ Anyway,I notice my ex checking my facebook profile and liking my status (which he never do). I recently had a big fight with my bf and i delete my status to "          ".That means blank. Well, we are back to normal (short fight which is stupid, then he delete his facebook forever.) Now I don't have anyone to have a relationship with. haha~

Back to my ex, he is so hurtful.Every relationship he involves in end up DESTROYED.When will he realized it's him that needs to change? The last gir he have relationship with (he cheats on me with this girl) is nice (bueekk). But she is nice, the truth. Yet still they don't manage to go on.

Dear Ex, you have to change. Everything don't need to be following your way. All girls are different. Not everyone can be compare to your 'EX' which you like the most last time.

BYE.

Unduk Ngadau Tombovo

Dear readers,
I just won a KadazanDusun beauty pageant recently. The piala is so huge, i find it hard to carry actually.

See..im telling the truth

Anyway, i have my first day period on that day which i only knew when Charles( make-up artist) do my face. I have cramps backstage, and i almost cry for all the pain from the tangkong (belts), himpogot and period.
When i go back home, i found out the pin i use so the shirt stick with the skirt are open (terbuka). So the needle is poking me all this time, and that adds up the pain i felt.

TOP 8

That's the top 8! I look faaaatttt.. haha~ The one with the hats are traditional costume from Papar district. Beside me is using..uhmm.. I donow but most of us are wearing KadazanDusun traditional costume from Penampang.

I finally sit on that chair!

Anyway, i finally won :P I pray really hard coz I want that crown and the money. Money for thesis baby..haha~

I like the contestant this one, coz they are all very nice. They know I have cramps from period and they help me.No jealousy or talking behind others back. I like it!

Thanks judges, thanks Charles, thanks mummy (for money) and thank my beautiful family for being there walaupun saya kasi abis duit kamu :P

KILL THESIS NOW

I am so fed up with doing and correcting thesis. It is damn boring and I really hate it so much. I feel like I just want to throw away my thesis and let Paragasu (our house dog) eat it. Then maybe I give him my laptop for dinner..

With all this formatting, and comparing to others study, and money to use for printing, the hard-cover again.. haish... I can't use my money while I'm dating just now coz I have to have enough money for that damn thesis! And Sanchez can't spend money for me so much too coz he got his thesis also! Haish haish haish haish...

I want to eat in Kenny Rogers pun I can't, so we eat at Pizza Hut. Heyaa... THESIS!! I will burn you after this!

Law Of Attraction

Ola! 

This will be an interesting segment for today, what is the law of attraction in this world? Tadaaa... (Just imagine if got some music behind)

I get this from my sister coz she read a book about this. Since she don't have any blog, so i am happily to steal what she says to put it inside my blog (harharharharhar!)

Law of attraction says 'You will attract people that have the same vibe as yours'. For example, you are miserable, then you attract miserable people too. I'm just quoting what she says. Ok. 

Grumpy people will attracts grumpy people

I think it's true coz I knew someone which is miserable. She cheats(!) with someone else's husband(!!) and she thinks my bf is ugly-which is so not true(!!!). She always attracts people who is a cheater too, someone else's husband too, and ugly (i hate her). She even said that and realize that. See???

Maybe you give different aura to certain people and they will find that you're very attractive. When you're sweet, ants will come right? Last time, before I met Sanchez (my HOT bf), I am egoistic and a brat. All the guys (ex-bfs) I fall in love is as same as me. Very rebellious. Than after I've been heart-broken by you-know-who, I change my attitude to a hot-sexy-lady..haha~ No. I change to be a much matured thinking, then I met Sanchez which wants to be in a steady relationship just like what I’m searching for.

When i wear a crown, a prince come suddenly :)

I think it’s true. Yup yup. Long made short, try to be HOT, SEXY and BEAUTIFUL, you will attract those hot guys around :P

Why Ghost movies have to be..?

I wonder why ghost movies have to be dark..Coz all ghost don't only appear during the nights you know. I heard there's someone in my kampung 'dirasuki' during the day by the spirit of the person she attend funeral on that day. So, why?? It makes people afraid of the night, and making me sleep with the light on and wasting electricity. haish.

hey girl,ghost behind you!!!

The next thing, why almost all the ghost is female.. I've seen less male ghost in the cinema. What? Male go to heaven and female stay on earth? Discrimination of female ghost. Hate the director.

this one is creepy

After that why ghost must have long hair? It's weird you know. No dead man(human) can grow hair after they die. It's the truth. No regeneration of cells. So, why suddenly when the body is buried between the ceilings then her hair grows pass the cement and strangle who ever lives in the house?? Stupid shit. Then i'm afraid if my hair will strangle me if i accidentally put poop on my hair.

(palis..palis..)

Change la director.. People are the scarriest thing in the world, not ghost. And ghost is friendly like Casper.. :P not like Ju-on. I think (God, hear my prayer..)

I throw her bowl!!!

Yes!!! Finally, i have the courage to throw her bowl inside the rubbish bin! Yes!!

She is so annoying, she just put all her stuff on the sink, and leave it there rotten until she wants to use it back. Oh well, I just throw it away and that's just what i did. (HOORAY!)

My housemate is very dirty. Excluding my roomate, they are all very clean. I am very sure our room smells very nice like a garden of flowers. When i pass my neighbour room, they produce smells like something die in there. You know like they keep lizards dead body to spice up their food. They even sleep on a bed which have no bedsheets. Don't they know how dirty the bed is? And i'm pretty sure they don't use perfume.

I'm not saying that you must sleep with the bedsheets on, the thing is tihey're very dirty. I hate her..... Kidding. I just don't like she is being not clean. I don't like dirty things and dirty food. Even before i kiss my bf, i ask him to eat mint flavoured candy so his mouth smells fresh. (I love him, i will kiss him even when his mouth stinks after eating fish curry, but i will avoid it :P)

That's all. Love you!

EXAM and things that matters.

Hell...O!!
First of all i would like to tell all of you that i finish exam already. I'm not going to yell hooray or anything that sounds fun coz its not. My last paper sucks, and i don't understand a thing my lecturer said (he is Arabian, so his english is quite to understand. But i love him anyway coz he's trying so hard to teach us). The question is hard, and that's all i can say about that.

Anyway for other things, my long time bestfriend call me just know. We've been none friends for about 2 years i think (some problem). Then, what i learn today is about forgiveness. I should forgive people. When i forgive her, i can feel my burden just lift away. Anything about the saying or any peribahasa about forgiveness is true. It really makes your heart happy.

There's a saying that goes like this " When you forgive someone, you learn that you are freeing yourself from your own cage". Cool ey? I feel like that. We talk like old times, and jokes around with our situation. I like that. I like this. Love you girlfriend :)

One more thing, i live in dorm. Our bathroom is filled with rubbish (food..and yep, pad.Yucks!) I recognize the person already, she is so pengotor! I kinda hate her. I take her bowl and sampah and put it under the sink which the toilet seat is put there. If tomorrow she don't do anything, maybe i will throw all her stuff inside the rubbish bin. I'll think i do that, it seems like a very good idea.

Why i have the nerve to do that? She leave her stuff there (bowl, fork, spoon, rubbish) for a month, and then when she wants to use it, then she clean it. The bathroom stinks you know because of her. She needs education about hygiene. She needs someone to tell her that she's wrong. She needs to marry a rubbish bin.

Anyway, that's all for me today. MMMuuuuaaaHH! love grace~

It's ENOUGH. Let him go.

Dear readers, i'm posting this especially for my cousin. She may not know that i know her condition all this while, but i know. Someone told me. From a good source too.

Breaking- up is hard. You break feelings, that's why they call it 'breaking-up'. Moving on is even harder. It breaks your soul.

To all people out there, who ever been telling your friend, or sister or some stranger that they should forget about their bf/gf or husband/wife for cheating or something, and you find it confusing or angry coz they are so hard to listen to what you say, it is because it is hard. Things like this is hard. I've been there, and it took me MONTHS to move on from my ex-boyfriend.

I cry, and cry every night. I pray, and pray everyday. I think, and think about him all the time. Life is not easy. But for those out there, thinking that forgetting him is the best way, stop. It's not.

1)Pity yourself first. Cry, moan, tell your friend how you feel. Cry! I cry for about 1-2 months. I listen to sad songs, I listen to our song, and i cry whenever i go (really!and i'm ashamed of it actually). I cry and pity myself until i'm tired of crying, untul i'm bored being sad.

2)Accepting that he/she is gone. This is the hard part. Accepting. I find this is the hardest of all. He don't sms me, or call. Why? Busy? No. People say, even if you love someone, you find ways or just for a few seconds to call just to hear their voice. Don't make excuses. Even if my current bf is super-hell busy from 5.00 am to 2.00 am the next day, he managed to steal few minutes of time to sms me asking if i already take my food. No calls, no sms for 3 or 5 days in a row? What are you? God? Even God have lots of things to do but He still manage to hear we pray. So learn to accept that he don't love you. In my case, my ex-bf cheats.

3) Believe in love again. I'm not telling you to find other guy or girl to be in love with. All i'm just saying is don't close your heart. Just because you have bad relationship doesn't mean others should have bad relationship too. Love doesn't come only from your lover, you can get love from your family, your friends, your dog. It is still LOVE. You're single doesn't mean you're miserable.

That's my version of moving on. For you my cousin, please stop your affair with someone's husband. You are desperate. He is making his move leaving you, and it is good. Creating a new fb account to chat with him is desperate and stupid. He only call you when he need you. Even if he still wants to have relationship with you, do you still want to be in this condition forever? Crying every night? Feeling sad? Relationship is not that. It is full of laughter and happiness.

You will always be his number 2 (maybe 3 or 4). Why if he say he loves you so much, he don't leave his wife? For the sake of their children? No. I have a friend who leave her children for someone (not her husband). Move on sista! Don't be a fool. You have a lot of things ahead of you. Holding him inside your heart will not change things. If you wanna move on, let him go. Imagine your heart is your hands; you can't hold 2 balls using only one hand, you need two. But the thing is, your heart is only one. You have to let go the ball you're holding now to have another new ball.

Move on, I mean it. It's sad to see you like this. I have done it, and so can you. All the best. God bless.

Don't LABEL people!

Have you ever-ever label people? Like "Only the Chinese know Mathematics" or" All orang putih is sex maniac" or "KadazanDusun drink alcohol everyday". Hey people, stop labeling people!

In my opinion, people like that seems like shit (oops). Small minded people.For your information, my Mathematics teacher is a Kadazan, not Chinese. I've met a orang putih lady who always pray, not having sex every minute. And my dad is KadazanDusun, he don't drink alcohol (should I say more?).

What the heck with labeling? I have a friend (A_il_), she don't wanna watch English movie. She say 'Sinful movie'. Even when it's a cartoon about a bird flying to a new place. I just want to spit it out to her face, "Open your mind! Don't limit yourself ." I saw a Malaysian movie, she marry orang putih then she become sinful. Ish.. You don't have to marry orang putih to become sinful. I pity the small minded director.

One more thing, what's with guys cannot cry? I'm not ashamed if my boyfriend cry. He's sad. So? Only girls can cry? Only girls can wear pink? Labeling bullshit. When a guy's mother die, what should he do? Entertain those people outside? Singing karaoke so the guests are happy? He is sad and he suppose to cry. It's HUMAN NATURE. I don't have any problems with that.

Anyway, I'm not being biased or what-so-ever here. It's just can we just stop being labeling for a while. I remember there's a slogan, "Lihat keAsia" or what-what referring to Japan. Yeah, that bullshit. Japan have nuclear power, you want that? My teacher say the slogan is created so Malaysia won't look to US. Small minded. Isn't there's a peribahasa saying " Ambil yang jernih, buang yang keruh"? Do that la. Very stupid. Whatever.