EXAM and things that matters.

Hell...O!!
First of all i would like to tell all of you that i finish exam already. I'm not going to yell hooray or anything that sounds fun coz its not. My last paper sucks, and i don't understand a thing my lecturer said (he is Arabian, so his english is quite to understand. But i love him anyway coz he's trying so hard to teach us). The question is hard, and that's all i can say about that.

Anyway for other things, my long time bestfriend call me just know. We've been none friends for about 2 years i think (some problem). Then, what i learn today is about forgiveness. I should forgive people. When i forgive her, i can feel my burden just lift away. Anything about the saying or any peribahasa about forgiveness is true. It really makes your heart happy.

There's a saying that goes like this " When you forgive someone, you learn that you are freeing yourself from your own cage". Cool ey? I feel like that. We talk like old times, and jokes around with our situation. I like that. I like this. Love you girlfriend :)

One more thing, i live in dorm. Our bathroom is filled with rubbish (food..and yep, pad.Yucks!) I recognize the person already, she is so pengotor! I kinda hate her. I take her bowl and sampah and put it under the sink which the toilet seat is put there. If tomorrow she don't do anything, maybe i will throw all her stuff inside the rubbish bin. I'll think i do that, it seems like a very good idea.

Why i have the nerve to do that? She leave her stuff there (bowl, fork, spoon, rubbish) for a month, and then when she wants to use it, then she clean it. The bathroom stinks you know because of her. She needs education about hygiene. She needs someone to tell her that she's wrong. She needs to marry a rubbish bin.

Anyway, that's all for me today. MMMuuuuaaaHH! love grace~

It's ENOUGH. Let him go.

Dear readers, i'm posting this especially for my cousin. She may not know that i know her condition all this while, but i know. Someone told me. From a good source too.

Breaking- up is hard. You break feelings, that's why they call it 'breaking-up'. Moving on is even harder. It breaks your soul.

To all people out there, who ever been telling your friend, or sister or some stranger that they should forget about their bf/gf or husband/wife for cheating or something, and you find it confusing or angry coz they are so hard to listen to what you say, it is because it is hard. Things like this is hard. I've been there, and it took me MONTHS to move on from my ex-boyfriend.

I cry, and cry every night. I pray, and pray everyday. I think, and think about him all the time. Life is not easy. But for those out there, thinking that forgetting him is the best way, stop. It's not.

1)Pity yourself first. Cry, moan, tell your friend how you feel. Cry! I cry for about 1-2 months. I listen to sad songs, I listen to our song, and i cry whenever i go (really!and i'm ashamed of it actually). I cry and pity myself until i'm tired of crying, untul i'm bored being sad.

2)Accepting that he/she is gone. This is the hard part. Accepting. I find this is the hardest of all. He don't sms me, or call. Why? Busy? No. People say, even if you love someone, you find ways or just for a few seconds to call just to hear their voice. Don't make excuses. Even if my current bf is super-hell busy from 5.00 am to 2.00 am the next day, he managed to steal few minutes of time to sms me asking if i already take my food. No calls, no sms for 3 or 5 days in a row? What are you? God? Even God have lots of things to do but He still manage to hear we pray. So learn to accept that he don't love you. In my case, my ex-bf cheats.

3) Believe in love again. I'm not telling you to find other guy or girl to be in love with. All i'm just saying is don't close your heart. Just because you have bad relationship doesn't mean others should have bad relationship too. Love doesn't come only from your lover, you can get love from your family, your friends, your dog. It is still LOVE. You're single doesn't mean you're miserable.

That's my version of moving on. For you my cousin, please stop your affair with someone's husband. You are desperate. He is making his move leaving you, and it is good. Creating a new fb account to chat with him is desperate and stupid. He only call you when he need you. Even if he still wants to have relationship with you, do you still want to be in this condition forever? Crying every night? Feeling sad? Relationship is not that. It is full of laughter and happiness.

You will always be his number 2 (maybe 3 or 4). Why if he say he loves you so much, he don't leave his wife? For the sake of their children? No. I have a friend who leave her children for someone (not her husband). Move on sista! Don't be a fool. You have a lot of things ahead of you. Holding him inside your heart will not change things. If you wanna move on, let him go. Imagine your heart is your hands; you can't hold 2 balls using only one hand, you need two. But the thing is, your heart is only one. You have to let go the ball you're holding now to have another new ball.

Move on, I mean it. It's sad to see you like this. I have done it, and so can you. All the best. God bless.

Don't LABEL people!

Have you ever-ever label people? Like "Only the Chinese know Mathematics" or" All orang putih is sex maniac" or "KadazanDusun drink alcohol everyday". Hey people, stop labeling people!

In my opinion, people like that seems like shit (oops). Small minded people.For your information, my Mathematics teacher is a Kadazan, not Chinese. I've met a orang putih lady who always pray, not having sex every minute. And my dad is KadazanDusun, he don't drink alcohol (should I say more?).

What the heck with labeling? I have a friend (A_il_), she don't wanna watch English movie. She say 'Sinful movie'. Even when it's a cartoon about a bird flying to a new place. I just want to spit it out to her face, "Open your mind! Don't limit yourself ." I saw a Malaysian movie, she marry orang putih then she become sinful. Ish.. You don't have to marry orang putih to become sinful. I pity the small minded director.

One more thing, what's with guys cannot cry? I'm not ashamed if my boyfriend cry. He's sad. So? Only girls can cry? Only girls can wear pink? Labeling bullshit. When a guy's mother die, what should he do? Entertain those people outside? Singing karaoke so the guests are happy? He is sad and he suppose to cry. It's HUMAN NATURE. I don't have any problems with that.

Anyway, I'm not being biased or what-so-ever here. It's just can we just stop being labeling for a while. I remember there's a slogan, "Lihat keAsia" or what-what referring to Japan. Yeah, that bullshit. Japan have nuclear power, you want that? My teacher say the slogan is created so Malaysia won't look to US. Small minded. Isn't there's a peribahasa saying " Ambil yang jernih, buang yang keruh"? Do that la. Very stupid. Whatever.

Yohanes 14

This is my first post about faith. If you have a bible, turn to that page and you can see that chapter talks about Jesus say that God will send Holy Spirit to people when Jesus goes back. During Alpha course I attend today, the speaker tell us that Jesus promise holy spirit to those who believes Him. That makes me wonder, so how about those who don't believe? They don't have holy spirit?

My dear friends, it's not I'm querying my religion, I'm just asking and wondering. God cannot be understand. If you trying to understand, then stop. You'll be crazy. Our human minds limit us to understand more. Taking examples from the speaker, if you read the bible, there is a chapter which talks about Paulus, who hates God. When Jesus show himself infront of him, he turns blind. Our human nature cannot see the glory of God. That's how awesome our God is. Cool eh? But then, my question about holy spirit is something that can be answered.

When I was baptized, my teacher ask all of his student including me.

"You receive Holy Spirit when you are baptized. How about when you are not yet baptized, does the Holy Spirit is not with you?"

I don't have the answer. Yet in my opinion (just my opinion, it's not teaching. Do not quote), the holy spirit is among us, within us since we're born. I believe that. Correct me if I'm wrong. So back to my question, does the holy spirit is with people who believe only? How about those people who believe that Jesus exist, but not following Him? How about those who don't believe, but follow His teachings? I've got a friend, Muslim, he follow us 'berpuasa' during Lent month. Does the holy spirit with him?

According to the speaker, Christian beliefs cannot be understand using logic. It cannot be compared to other religion, cause we are not the same. So if you want to comment this post, please use bible quote to comment. Don't give your own piece of mind. I don't want to know how you feel or what you are thinking.

Are you 'Melatah'?

(FYI, i dont know what melatah is in English)

Everyone seems to have this symptom nowadays. Including my boyfriend. According to Kamus Dewan Fourth Edition, melatah means:

 Seseorang (biasanya wanita) tidak sedar apa yang dilakukan, mengikut perbuatan atau suruhan orang lain tanpa disedari, mengeluarkan perkataan atau membuat sesuatu secara tidak sengaja kerana terperanjat.

Meanwhile according to American Normal book called Hyperstartle Syndrome, Lawrene Osborne said " If American is popular for its aneroxia, and Nigerians have problems with tired minds, while Malays have 'latah' (hyperstartle syndrome).

The famous Malaysian psychologist/motivator, Dato Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah, once quote;

Only the malays, eskimos, and one or two african that "Melatah."

I wonder if this is true. I mean the melatah thing. I've seen people who pretends to melatah, and it is purely annoying. But then, I've seen some which undoubtedly saying things they don't want to speak, and acting things they don't want to do.

But then, I believe when you melatah, you only say short sentence like,

"Mama ko lapan"

"Opocot ko"

"O mak!"

"Amen!" (This 1 is mine)

Long sentence like,

"menari-nari, terbang-terbang la engkau"

"kepala dia sudah ada empat ditambah empat lagi"

"Saya mau makan KFC banyak-banyak sampai gemuk macam Sanchez"

In my opinion, long sentence like that is not melatah. Sometimes, I saw them acting like they are melatah, and again i want to stress this, I got annoyed. Why do you want to act like that anyway? To be funny? Coz it doesn't seem to entertain me.

I remember a priest prayed for the melatah people during a Christian Camp I attend last year. He pray God bless them so they stop their melatah disease. Notice I bold the word 'disease', he call melatah a disease. Wikipedia define disease as abnormal condition affecting the body of an organism.

So to think about it, why do some people proud of their melatah? It can directly means they are proud of their disease. Like I'm proud I have flu or something. Weird. But anyway, (I wanna say 'sometimes melatah is funny', but  I dont feel like that, so drop it out) try to stop melatah if you can. It makes you tired if you say/do it again and again. And its a disease. If anyone of you out there pretends to melatah, drop it out, it aint cool. Melatah happens to women, not men.

When tsunami come

Tsunami hit Japan. Its a few days ago but i just remember i have a blog to talk about it. Anyway lets be quite for a while to respect them. (SSsshhh..)

I'm confuse about something though. Japan/Jepun is an advance country which mean high technology more advance than other country, and again i want to stress this word again. "Japan is an ADVANCE country". I underline it and capitalize it so you got that i really mean it.

Even such advance country like that couldn't even expect such tragedy like that. I wonder what will happen to Malaysia or Sabah if things like tsunami happen. Sabah may end up like Acheh,dead body everywhere.. (jauh palis..touch wood). Im not saying Acheh is not advance or any negative words okay.

Please Malaysia, and to any state in Malaysia (especially Sabah coz i live in here), do something. We are facing terrible tragedy nowadays. Almost every year we have terrible tsunami or any great disaster. And its because of climate change (tiba-tiba). Anyway, plant more mangrove trees near the beach. It can hold on from tsunami. Plant more trees coz it lowers down the Earth's temperature. People, dont be stupid. Dont put time limit to your life. We all will die, but dont make it faster stupid.

Being OLD & FORGETFUL

Yes, I know as you become old, your brain starts to work lesser because you brain-cell is rotting. So stops thinking that you are somewhat young (sometimes when you feel like you say the right things) coz its not!!

How many times should you repeat the same thing again and again, then after that telling someone (me) that they cannot do the job? Rotting s%%^^$##$$@.

Some people aged beautifully, or cutely, or whatever to make the process seems beautiful, but you are not. My papa aged cutely, i admit that. But it only miraculously happen to some people.

You ask me to do this and that, you even write it to my laptop (you idiot) then i meet you again and you treat me like im a fool saying "you dont even know what you're doing right? How come? what are you doing actually? everything wrong." then you start to type what i have been writing all along, Then i meet you again and you say im wrong again and the cycles keep going on and on. You forget things! I have been te
rying to tell you that!!!! But you just too old to listen, i think.