FAITH

Faith is something weird. I am a Christian, and i believe in God. As I am getting matured a.k.a OLD, I notice that different people have different thoughts about faith. Many religion fights and argue especially Muslim and Christian (I don't know why since both religion start with Abraham). But what I want to point out here is, and it might be very disturbing, Christian people pull down their own people. I notice that in my community. People want to pull me down when I have different opinion, they started to have 'thoughts' and 'what she should have done' or 'i think someone else is better'.

My boyfriend is Anglican and I'm Catholic, I don't mind the differences since we follow the same God. Jesus said, "Follow Me. I am the ONLY way to the Father". He didn't say "Follow Catholic. It's the ONLY way to the Father". So, I am following Jesus.

I post in my FB recently about faith, then suddenly this guy commenting on my post, loooooooonnnggg comment about faith, about the do's and don'ts, telling me that Jesus loooovvveees me and being so sarcastic. I'm this close to comment back that I know what I meant, and he just freakin cannot accept anyone's opinion. Don't use Jesus name to say that I'm wrong when you only want to say your own piece of mind. Nasihat is about building up, not pulling down. If you are thinking what did I post, its a sharing about a homily from Father 'tut...' that says "everyone can be hypocrite, they pretend to close their eyes and pray when they did horrible things outside the church".

Clearly they don't get my messsage, they just hentam me and say I'm wrong.I am QUOTING what father said. Anyway, I block that person. He did that again to another post of mine about faith too, I don't see anything wrong with my post, but I don't know, he just want to say crap and maybe he want me to be like him.

KARMA

Har-har-har!
What people say about karma when everything goes around comes around?? It's true! Hey my ex,how do you feel now?

Lalalalalalalalala~ Anyway,I notice my ex checking my facebook profile and liking my status (which he never do). I recently had a big fight with my bf and i delete my status to "          ".That means blank. Well, we are back to normal (short fight which is stupid, then he delete his facebook forever.) Now I don't have anyone to have a relationship with. haha~

Back to my ex, he is so hurtful.Every relationship he involves in end up DESTROYED.When will he realized it's him that needs to change? The last gir he have relationship with (he cheats on me with this girl) is nice (bueekk). But she is nice, the truth. Yet still they don't manage to go on.

Dear Ex, you have to change. Everything don't need to be following your way. All girls are different. Not everyone can be compare to your 'EX' which you like the most last time.

BYE.

Unduk Ngadau Tombovo

Dear readers,
I just won a KadazanDusun beauty pageant recently. The piala is so huge, i find it hard to carry actually.

See..im telling the truth

Anyway, i have my first day period on that day which i only knew when Charles( make-up artist) do my face. I have cramps backstage, and i almost cry for all the pain from the tangkong (belts), himpogot and period.
When i go back home, i found out the pin i use so the shirt stick with the skirt are open (terbuka). So the needle is poking me all this time, and that adds up the pain i felt.

TOP 8

That's the top 8! I look faaaatttt.. haha~ The one with the hats are traditional costume from Papar district. Beside me is using..uhmm.. I donow but most of us are wearing KadazanDusun traditional costume from Penampang.

I finally sit on that chair!

Anyway, i finally won :P I pray really hard coz I want that crown and the money. Money for thesis baby..haha~

I like the contestant this one, coz they are all very nice. They know I have cramps from period and they help me.No jealousy or talking behind others back. I like it!

Thanks judges, thanks Charles, thanks mummy (for money) and thank my beautiful family for being there walaupun saya kasi abis duit kamu :P

KILL THESIS NOW

I am so fed up with doing and correcting thesis. It is damn boring and I really hate it so much. I feel like I just want to throw away my thesis and let Paragasu (our house dog) eat it. Then maybe I give him my laptop for dinner..

With all this formatting, and comparing to others study, and money to use for printing, the hard-cover again.. haish... I can't use my money while I'm dating just now coz I have to have enough money for that damn thesis! And Sanchez can't spend money for me so much too coz he got his thesis also! Haish haish haish haish...

I want to eat in Kenny Rogers pun I can't, so we eat at Pizza Hut. Heyaa... THESIS!! I will burn you after this!

Law Of Attraction

Ola! 

This will be an interesting segment for today, what is the law of attraction in this world? Tadaaa... (Just imagine if got some music behind)

I get this from my sister coz she read a book about this. Since she don't have any blog, so i am happily to steal what she says to put it inside my blog (harharharharhar!)

Law of attraction says 'You will attract people that have the same vibe as yours'. For example, you are miserable, then you attract miserable people too. I'm just quoting what she says. Ok. 

Grumpy people will attracts grumpy people

I think it's true coz I knew someone which is miserable. She cheats(!) with someone else's husband(!!) and she thinks my bf is ugly-which is so not true(!!!). She always attracts people who is a cheater too, someone else's husband too, and ugly (i hate her). She even said that and realize that. See???

Maybe you give different aura to certain people and they will find that you're very attractive. When you're sweet, ants will come right? Last time, before I met Sanchez (my HOT bf), I am egoistic and a brat. All the guys (ex-bfs) I fall in love is as same as me. Very rebellious. Than after I've been heart-broken by you-know-who, I change my attitude to a hot-sexy-lady..haha~ No. I change to be a much matured thinking, then I met Sanchez which wants to be in a steady relationship just like what I’m searching for.

When i wear a crown, a prince come suddenly :)

I think it’s true. Yup yup. Long made short, try to be HOT, SEXY and BEAUTIFUL, you will attract those hot guys around :P

Why Ghost movies have to be..?

I wonder why ghost movies have to be dark..Coz all ghost don't only appear during the nights you know. I heard there's someone in my kampung 'dirasuki' during the day by the spirit of the person she attend funeral on that day. So, why?? It makes people afraid of the night, and making me sleep with the light on and wasting electricity. haish.

hey girl,ghost behind you!!!

The next thing, why almost all the ghost is female.. I've seen less male ghost in the cinema. What? Male go to heaven and female stay on earth? Discrimination of female ghost. Hate the director.

this one is creepy

After that why ghost must have long hair? It's weird you know. No dead man(human) can grow hair after they die. It's the truth. No regeneration of cells. So, why suddenly when the body is buried between the ceilings then her hair grows pass the cement and strangle who ever lives in the house?? Stupid shit. Then i'm afraid if my hair will strangle me if i accidentally put poop on my hair.

(palis..palis..)

Change la director.. People are the scarriest thing in the world, not ghost. And ghost is friendly like Casper.. :P not like Ju-on. I think (God, hear my prayer..)

I throw her bowl!!!

Yes!!! Finally, i have the courage to throw her bowl inside the rubbish bin! Yes!!

She is so annoying, she just put all her stuff on the sink, and leave it there rotten until she wants to use it back. Oh well, I just throw it away and that's just what i did. (HOORAY!)

My housemate is very dirty. Excluding my roomate, they are all very clean. I am very sure our room smells very nice like a garden of flowers. When i pass my neighbour room, they produce smells like something die in there. You know like they keep lizards dead body to spice up their food. They even sleep on a bed which have no bedsheets. Don't they know how dirty the bed is? And i'm pretty sure they don't use perfume.

I'm not saying that you must sleep with the bedsheets on, the thing is tihey're very dirty. I hate her..... Kidding. I just don't like she is being not clean. I don't like dirty things and dirty food. Even before i kiss my bf, i ask him to eat mint flavoured candy so his mouth smells fresh. (I love him, i will kiss him even when his mouth stinks after eating fish curry, but i will avoid it :P)

That's all. Love you!

EXAM and things that matters.

Hell...O!!
First of all i would like to tell all of you that i finish exam already. I'm not going to yell hooray or anything that sounds fun coz its not. My last paper sucks, and i don't understand a thing my lecturer said (he is Arabian, so his english is quite to understand. But i love him anyway coz he's trying so hard to teach us). The question is hard, and that's all i can say about that.

Anyway for other things, my long time bestfriend call me just know. We've been none friends for about 2 years i think (some problem). Then, what i learn today is about forgiveness. I should forgive people. When i forgive her, i can feel my burden just lift away. Anything about the saying or any peribahasa about forgiveness is true. It really makes your heart happy.

There's a saying that goes like this " When you forgive someone, you learn that you are freeing yourself from your own cage". Cool ey? I feel like that. We talk like old times, and jokes around with our situation. I like that. I like this. Love you girlfriend :)

One more thing, i live in dorm. Our bathroom is filled with rubbish (food..and yep, pad.Yucks!) I recognize the person already, she is so pengotor! I kinda hate her. I take her bowl and sampah and put it under the sink which the toilet seat is put there. If tomorrow she don't do anything, maybe i will throw all her stuff inside the rubbish bin. I'll think i do that, it seems like a very good idea.

Why i have the nerve to do that? She leave her stuff there (bowl, fork, spoon, rubbish) for a month, and then when she wants to use it, then she clean it. The bathroom stinks you know because of her. She needs education about hygiene. She needs someone to tell her that she's wrong. She needs to marry a rubbish bin.

Anyway, that's all for me today. MMMuuuuaaaHH! love grace~

It's ENOUGH. Let him go.

Dear readers, i'm posting this especially for my cousin. She may not know that i know her condition all this while, but i know. Someone told me. From a good source too.

Breaking- up is hard. You break feelings, that's why they call it 'breaking-up'. Moving on is even harder. It breaks your soul.

To all people out there, who ever been telling your friend, or sister or some stranger that they should forget about their bf/gf or husband/wife for cheating or something, and you find it confusing or angry coz they are so hard to listen to what you say, it is because it is hard. Things like this is hard. I've been there, and it took me MONTHS to move on from my ex-boyfriend.

I cry, and cry every night. I pray, and pray everyday. I think, and think about him all the time. Life is not easy. But for those out there, thinking that forgetting him is the best way, stop. It's not.

1)Pity yourself first. Cry, moan, tell your friend how you feel. Cry! I cry for about 1-2 months. I listen to sad songs, I listen to our song, and i cry whenever i go (really!and i'm ashamed of it actually). I cry and pity myself until i'm tired of crying, untul i'm bored being sad.

2)Accepting that he/she is gone. This is the hard part. Accepting. I find this is the hardest of all. He don't sms me, or call. Why? Busy? No. People say, even if you love someone, you find ways or just for a few seconds to call just to hear their voice. Don't make excuses. Even if my current bf is super-hell busy from 5.00 am to 2.00 am the next day, he managed to steal few minutes of time to sms me asking if i already take my food. No calls, no sms for 3 or 5 days in a row? What are you? God? Even God have lots of things to do but He still manage to hear we pray. So learn to accept that he don't love you. In my case, my ex-bf cheats.

3) Believe in love again. I'm not telling you to find other guy or girl to be in love with. All i'm just saying is don't close your heart. Just because you have bad relationship doesn't mean others should have bad relationship too. Love doesn't come only from your lover, you can get love from your family, your friends, your dog. It is still LOVE. You're single doesn't mean you're miserable.

That's my version of moving on. For you my cousin, please stop your affair with someone's husband. You are desperate. He is making his move leaving you, and it is good. Creating a new fb account to chat with him is desperate and stupid. He only call you when he need you. Even if he still wants to have relationship with you, do you still want to be in this condition forever? Crying every night? Feeling sad? Relationship is not that. It is full of laughter and happiness.

You will always be his number 2 (maybe 3 or 4). Why if he say he loves you so much, he don't leave his wife? For the sake of their children? No. I have a friend who leave her children for someone (not her husband). Move on sista! Don't be a fool. You have a lot of things ahead of you. Holding him inside your heart will not change things. If you wanna move on, let him go. Imagine your heart is your hands; you can't hold 2 balls using only one hand, you need two. But the thing is, your heart is only one. You have to let go the ball you're holding now to have another new ball.

Move on, I mean it. It's sad to see you like this. I have done it, and so can you. All the best. God bless.

Don't LABEL people!

Have you ever-ever label people? Like "Only the Chinese know Mathematics" or" All orang putih is sex maniac" or "KadazanDusun drink alcohol everyday". Hey people, stop labeling people!

In my opinion, people like that seems like shit (oops). Small minded people.For your information, my Mathematics teacher is a Kadazan, not Chinese. I've met a orang putih lady who always pray, not having sex every minute. And my dad is KadazanDusun, he don't drink alcohol (should I say more?).

What the heck with labeling? I have a friend (A_il_), she don't wanna watch English movie. She say 'Sinful movie'. Even when it's a cartoon about a bird flying to a new place. I just want to spit it out to her face, "Open your mind! Don't limit yourself ." I saw a Malaysian movie, she marry orang putih then she become sinful. Ish.. You don't have to marry orang putih to become sinful. I pity the small minded director.

One more thing, what's with guys cannot cry? I'm not ashamed if my boyfriend cry. He's sad. So? Only girls can cry? Only girls can wear pink? Labeling bullshit. When a guy's mother die, what should he do? Entertain those people outside? Singing karaoke so the guests are happy? He is sad and he suppose to cry. It's HUMAN NATURE. I don't have any problems with that.

Anyway, I'm not being biased or what-so-ever here. It's just can we just stop being labeling for a while. I remember there's a slogan, "Lihat keAsia" or what-what referring to Japan. Yeah, that bullshit. Japan have nuclear power, you want that? My teacher say the slogan is created so Malaysia won't look to US. Small minded. Isn't there's a peribahasa saying " Ambil yang jernih, buang yang keruh"? Do that la. Very stupid. Whatever.

Yohanes 14

This is my first post about faith. If you have a bible, turn to that page and you can see that chapter talks about Jesus say that God will send Holy Spirit to people when Jesus goes back. During Alpha course I attend today, the speaker tell us that Jesus promise holy spirit to those who believes Him. That makes me wonder, so how about those who don't believe? They don't have holy spirit?

My dear friends, it's not I'm querying my religion, I'm just asking and wondering. God cannot be understand. If you trying to understand, then stop. You'll be crazy. Our human minds limit us to understand more. Taking examples from the speaker, if you read the bible, there is a chapter which talks about Paulus, who hates God. When Jesus show himself infront of him, he turns blind. Our human nature cannot see the glory of God. That's how awesome our God is. Cool eh? But then, my question about holy spirit is something that can be answered.

When I was baptized, my teacher ask all of his student including me.

"You receive Holy Spirit when you are baptized. How about when you are not yet baptized, does the Holy Spirit is not with you?"

I don't have the answer. Yet in my opinion (just my opinion, it's not teaching. Do not quote), the holy spirit is among us, within us since we're born. I believe that. Correct me if I'm wrong. So back to my question, does the holy spirit is with people who believe only? How about those people who believe that Jesus exist, but not following Him? How about those who don't believe, but follow His teachings? I've got a friend, Muslim, he follow us 'berpuasa' during Lent month. Does the holy spirit with him?

According to the speaker, Christian beliefs cannot be understand using logic. It cannot be compared to other religion, cause we are not the same. So if you want to comment this post, please use bible quote to comment. Don't give your own piece of mind. I don't want to know how you feel or what you are thinking.

Are you 'Melatah'?

(FYI, i dont know what melatah is in English)

Everyone seems to have this symptom nowadays. Including my boyfriend. According to Kamus Dewan Fourth Edition, melatah means:

 Seseorang (biasanya wanita) tidak sedar apa yang dilakukan, mengikut perbuatan atau suruhan orang lain tanpa disedari, mengeluarkan perkataan atau membuat sesuatu secara tidak sengaja kerana terperanjat.

Meanwhile according to American Normal book called Hyperstartle Syndrome, Lawrene Osborne said " If American is popular for its aneroxia, and Nigerians have problems with tired minds, while Malays have 'latah' (hyperstartle syndrome).

The famous Malaysian psychologist/motivator, Dato Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah, once quote;

Only the malays, eskimos, and one or two african that "Melatah."

I wonder if this is true. I mean the melatah thing. I've seen people who pretends to melatah, and it is purely annoying. But then, I've seen some which undoubtedly saying things they don't want to speak, and acting things they don't want to do.

But then, I believe when you melatah, you only say short sentence like,

"Mama ko lapan"

"Opocot ko"

"O mak!"

"Amen!" (This 1 is mine)

Long sentence like,

"menari-nari, terbang-terbang la engkau"

"kepala dia sudah ada empat ditambah empat lagi"

"Saya mau makan KFC banyak-banyak sampai gemuk macam Sanchez"

In my opinion, long sentence like that is not melatah. Sometimes, I saw them acting like they are melatah, and again i want to stress this, I got annoyed. Why do you want to act like that anyway? To be funny? Coz it doesn't seem to entertain me.

I remember a priest prayed for the melatah people during a Christian Camp I attend last year. He pray God bless them so they stop their melatah disease. Notice I bold the word 'disease', he call melatah a disease. Wikipedia define disease as abnormal condition affecting the body of an organism.

So to think about it, why do some people proud of their melatah? It can directly means they are proud of their disease. Like I'm proud I have flu or something. Weird. But anyway, (I wanna say 'sometimes melatah is funny', but  I dont feel like that, so drop it out) try to stop melatah if you can. It makes you tired if you say/do it again and again. And its a disease. If anyone of you out there pretends to melatah, drop it out, it aint cool. Melatah happens to women, not men.

When tsunami come

Tsunami hit Japan. Its a few days ago but i just remember i have a blog to talk about it. Anyway lets be quite for a while to respect them. (SSsshhh..)

I'm confuse about something though. Japan/Jepun is an advance country which mean high technology more advance than other country, and again i want to stress this word again. "Japan is an ADVANCE country". I underline it and capitalize it so you got that i really mean it.

Even such advance country like that couldn't even expect such tragedy like that. I wonder what will happen to Malaysia or Sabah if things like tsunami happen. Sabah may end up like Acheh,dead body everywhere.. (jauh palis..touch wood). Im not saying Acheh is not advance or any negative words okay.

Please Malaysia, and to any state in Malaysia (especially Sabah coz i live in here), do something. We are facing terrible tragedy nowadays. Almost every year we have terrible tsunami or any great disaster. And its because of climate change (tiba-tiba). Anyway, plant more mangrove trees near the beach. It can hold on from tsunami. Plant more trees coz it lowers down the Earth's temperature. People, dont be stupid. Dont put time limit to your life. We all will die, but dont make it faster stupid.

Being OLD & FORGETFUL

Yes, I know as you become old, your brain starts to work lesser because you brain-cell is rotting. So stops thinking that you are somewhat young (sometimes when you feel like you say the right things) coz its not!!

How many times should you repeat the same thing again and again, then after that telling someone (me) that they cannot do the job? Rotting s%%^^$##$$@.

Some people aged beautifully, or cutely, or whatever to make the process seems beautiful, but you are not. My papa aged cutely, i admit that. But it only miraculously happen to some people.

You ask me to do this and that, you even write it to my laptop (you idiot) then i meet you again and you treat me like im a fool saying "you dont even know what you're doing right? How come? what are you doing actually? everything wrong." then you start to type what i have been writing all along, Then i meet you again and you say im wrong again and the cycles keep going on and on. You forget things! I have been te
rying to tell you that!!!! But you just too old to listen, i think.

Happy New Year!!

Happy new year every1!
Wah! 2011 odi! I look forward to 2011. muah! with all my love.

Wish you all a very prosperous year and blessesd days looking ahead. God bless.